What is beauty?

What is beauty?  Beauty certainly doesn’t mean perfection.  It doesn’t have to be represented by  a vision of flawlessness in any way, shape or form.

Who is more beautiful? An aesthetically pleasing yet cruel person with a heart of stone or a kind warm person who may have slight imperfections with their appearance? At the end of the day our skin is just the packaging that wraps us.

Beauty is love, charm, a heart of gold; it is grace, style, appeal…it is a quality.

I’m not a very confident person, especially when it comes to my appearance, I don’t like having my photo taken and when I do look at photos of myself I am over-critical and can never find one that I really like. I genuinely mean this as well I’m not saying it so people give me compliments to try and make me feel better. I have a couple of quite major imperfections which I feel really self conscious about.

I also have a skin condition on my arms, which makes the tops of them red and blotchy like I have really bad sunburn.  I have tried all sorts of different creams, bio oil, colour correcting cream… If I could have a pound every time someone asks me if I’ve been out in the sun or comments that I’ve got burnt I’d be really rich by now. I actually really hate it when someone says something because it reminds me of how horrible it looks. I have seen a dermatologist a few times and they took a biopsy thinking it was lupus or some other sinister thing. Thankfully the results came back normal but now I’m left with a massive scar to add to the blotchiness! So as well as getting told I’m sunburnt I also get asked what did I bang my arm on! I go back to the dermatologist annually because he is intrigued by it and hopes to one day find out what it is! I got referred to a camouflage makeup service but to be honest I think it made it more noticeable so didn’t get the prescription. I wish I felt more confident and didn’t care so much about it. I don’t cover my arms up all the time though because I can’t bear to be too hot, so I’m afraid my arms are out there on show and I just have to brush aside the comments I get.  At the end of though it’s not my circulation, nor a serious illness so it shouldn’t matter should it?

I know this is my problem, I know that I should get over  it. The problem is that it is so easy to compare ourselves negatively when we are shown images of perfection left, right and centre.  Airbrushed beauties in magazines and all over social media, is it any wonder that some of us feel inferior?

In an ideal world, why should I care what people think of my appearance? At the end of the day I think it’s down to an inherent desire to be liked and to fit in.

Long, long ago when humans survived in groups, everyone just wanted and needed to fit in and be part of the clan. In this way when the food was being shared out,  those who had been accepted into the clan were catered for and therefore survived.  If someone was a bit different then they wouldn’t ‘fit in’ with a particular group, so would therefore go hungry and probably die.

Be honest even nowadays some people tend to look at people who are a bit different, or give them a second glance, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Also as a child, how much fuss and attention does a beautiful baby get?  How about that cute kid with the adorable smile?  Obviously, even as small children, we craved people to like us and therefore to want to look after us.   I think it is in our nature subconsciously to judge on looks.

I have so much admiration for people who have what many may call imperfections, but are confident regardless to be in the limelight. So much admiration.

Some people have, for me, an enviable attitude. Their appearance may be imperfect in the traditional sense but they know that the important thing about people is what’s on the inside. It’s heart and soul, personality and qualities that make a person – not what people look at on the outside.  There are many people who have this attitude and to me they are hugely inspirational.  I think part of this may be their confidence and acceptance of themselves.

Recently I have looking online at  quite a few people who make their living as models – male and female.  Several of these models have features which some may consider unattractive (maybe how people view themselves) but actually makes them beautiful by their imperfections.  Their uniqueness makes them stunning.  There are many hugely successful models with what we might describe as flaws on ourselves, such as teeth not as straight as we’d like, hair that doesn’t do as it’s told, position of eyes, asymmetrical faces, albinism, vitiligo, imperfect noses, freckles, sticking out ears, wobbly bits, uneven skin tone, scars and I could go on and on.

We are all different and really these variations in our appearance makes no difference whatsoever to the person inside. The difference is that these beautiful people radiate confidence and inner beauty and their flaws are deemed assets. Look for example at Winnie Harlow – she is so beautiful, she is a Canadian model who has vitiligo but this doesn’t affect her ability to be a hugely successful, confident woman, and why should it?

I for one should learn a lesson from these beauties and have confidence in the fact that we are all individual.   I wish I truly didn’t give a damn about what other people think about me,  it’s just their perceptions after all isn’t it?

Ultimately who has a right to judge someone just because their features might not be perfect?  Nobody that’s who.  After all nobody is completely perfect and it is what is on the inside that makes the person and that is the most important thing.



  1. Yes, It would be a much nicer world if we could all live with this notion of our insides being the beautiful thing not our skin or features.
    I hope one day you either find something to help you feel better about your arm or you find something inside to make you forget about the outside.
    We all have something that we battle with – so being reminded what its all about was important, so thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was such a lovely and uplifting post! It’s so difficult to lose sight of the fact it’s what inside that matters, and it’s something I’m hopeless at. I constantly pick apart what I consider to be my physical imperfections. Yet, I know I’m kind, caring and thoughtful. I should really focus more on those things.

    Thank you for sharing your post. It’s a personal subject which I imagine was difficult to discuss, but it serves as a reminder to all of us to be kinder to ourselves.

    Ruth | http://www.ruthinrevolt.com

    Liked by 1 person

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