Definition: British informal A foolish or clumsy person. ‘Watch where you’re going, you clot!’
So it’s official, I really am a clumsy clot. What sort of idiot aimlessly wanders up a set of stairs, not really paying particular attention to what they’re doing, while also having a conversation with someone AND studying their smart watch at the same time?
Well, the same sort of idiot who then remembers something they forgot to take up stairs with them, so thinks about retrieving it.
The same sort of idiot who thinks they are on the first stair, when in fact they are on the third or fourth stair and just turns round and puts their foot down – expecting to gently tread on terra firma.
That same clot who then collapses in an undignified heap on the floor twisting their ankle painfully and not fully realising how they got there.
Immediately two purple lumps appeared. I’m not even sure why or where they came from. I was also unsure whether they were muscle, tendons, veins or bones, but my foot hurt, it hurt a lot.
I consulted my trusted friend Mrs Google, who advised rest, ice and elevation. So this I did for two hours. However even after this first aid and attention the whole foot felt stiff and sore and had a small unusual lump on the top where there wasn’t one before. I had two options here, get a lift to my local accident and emergency department where the average wait – if they are not too busy – is about four hours, or try and rest it the best I can and see what the morning brings. Decision time: rightly or wrongly I have decided to go to bed and give it complete rest and then visit my local walk in centre in the morning, depending on what it’s like by then. Somehow I think it’s still going to be pretty sore in the morning but we shall see…
So it’s now 9.30 am and I am sat in the waiting area of my local minor injuries unit. I am joined by twelve other people, so for this particular morning it’s pretty busy. This could be something to do with the fact we had a sprinkling of snow last night and the pavements are a little icy. I hope I don’t have to wait too long though.
The last time I twisted my ankle was about three years ago. I was walking the dog through a field and – it could only be me – I managed to fall down a cleverly disguised dip in the ground. I didn’t seek attention for this – thinking it would be ok with ice and rest. Six weeks after that I was still in pain so had attended a hospital to get checked out. They had told me it was too late to do anything and to see how I go. I took this advice and then about a year or so after went to my doctor, got referred to a specialist and after MRI scans and X-rays discovered that I had Achilles tendinitis, a split tendon and a heel spur. Hence the reason I’m here.
There is a murmur of chitchat surrounding me but I’m quite happy to keep myself to myself and update this blog. The lady next to me is quite busy on a tablet and actually, peeking at what she’s doing, it looks like she could be a blogger too! I’ve also noticed that the walls are painted pale green and the chairs are a similar shade. Green is meant to be a calming colour isn’t it? I’m guessing that was a deliberate colour choice for a place where people can be particularly fraught: waiting because they are injured and in pain, waiting to see consultants about ailments, perhaps waiting for the outcome of tests which could end with good or bad news, waiting to find the out the fate of a loved one or just waiting for routine appointments. Either way it’s not really somewhere you would choose to spend your time. Green decor is often used to create a calming atmosphere, it encourages relaxation and is meant to relieve stress. It can also initiate a feeling of comfort and togetherness – apparently. I wonder if the green colour scheme has something to do with the calmness resonating around the room.
Anyway I would like to say that many people criticise the NHS but I certainly can’t complain about my waiting time today – I was seen by a nurse and my time from checking in to being able to go home was just over an hour – not too bad at all really. I was hoping to have received an X-ray but I appreciate they don’t do them unless absolutely necessary. She said she thinks I have badly sprained the ligaments in my foot. I lessened the damage and helped it to be a bit less of a traumatic injury by applying ice straight away. I need to regularly apply ice, elevate and rest, plus keep it mobile and wear an ankle support – for 72 hours. She said a sprain can hurt more than a break and it can take months and months to heal. Fingers crossed it’ll all be ok.